al Most Haunted ghost pictures
- how to hunt for ghosts.
al Most Haunted – treating ghosts with respect and dignity!
Advances in ghost hunting.
The al Most Haunted ghost hunters society has been at the forefront of development of equipment and techniques for ghost hunting. We willingly share our research and developments with others in order that the science of Spookemantology ( scientific name for ghost detection) may befit from our efforts.
Professional ghost hunting equipment.
The EMF Meter
The EMF Meter (or the Bloody Meter as professionals tends to call it ) is used to measure Electro-Misty-Forces that many spirits produce. When a ghost becomes agitated, angry or pissed ( the spirit equivalent of being intoxicated ) it gives of a thin vapour called misty. This is similar to the vapour given of by a human after twelve pints of beer and a double helping of strong curry. In the way a wine taster can identify wines by their bouquet, an experienced ghost detective can tell a lot about a ghost by its misty. For those with less experience an EMF meter can be used. These meters pass a small electric current through the air. Air resistance is reduced by misty and the current increased. This increased current is detected and displayed on a meter or LED display. Recent research carried out at Harvark University has shown that most televisions and kettles are haunted. The theory is that ghosts seek these objects as places to rest when the are not wandering aimlessly around houses frightening little old ladies.
The plasmatron is a very useful device for "seeing" ghosts in the dark. Spirits give of plasma in the way that the living give of heat. A plasmatron is a simple device which detects infrared signals and defrabultes then to extract information which may be transmitted by a ghost. A typical plasmatron will be calibrated on a scale of 0 to 100. A reading of 0 suggests that there is no paranormal activity. 50 plus indicates that a ghost is present. A reading of 100 suggests that it's time to retreat to the nearest pub.
The holobolistic monitor is a recording device which captures telepathic messages from departed spirits. The more sensitive the monitor the more requirement there is to block out "white noise" of living thoughts. The holobolistic is best set up and left on its own overnight or operated by someone of very low IQ.
Operating on phalsic resonant distortion the mnemetometer is the Doppler meter of paranormal research. As psychic activity increases the resonant distortion accelerates allowing detection of ghostly presence. A complex device that is best left to professional ghost hunters.
No serious investigation can be undertaken without a carry-oot. Ghost hunting is long and tiring work and for a ghost hunter to remain alert he is dependant on a good carry-oot for sustenance. A typical carry-oot for four professional will include; twenty four bottles of beer, two bottles of whisky, two bottles of wine (for the women) and a bottle of brandy (for medicinal purposes.) Statistical research by the al Most Haunted team shows that 99.89% of all ghost sighting happen after the carry-oot has been consumed - thus demonstrating how important this beverage is to ghost hunters.
What is a feegit? Simply it is a gift for a ghost. If you visit a friend you will take usually take a present - bottle of whisky - tin of shortbread or a haggis. When visiting a ghost it is also polite to take a little gift. Research has proven that when ghosts are treated with respect, they are more likely to cooperate with the investigators. The al Most Haunted team have discovered that ghosts seldom refuse a piece of chocolate or small portion of cheese. When we go on a hunt, the first thing we do is place the feegit on the floor in the corner of a room. Our records show that in 88.21% of the time the feegit has gone by the morning. Very strong evidence that ghost not only exist but enjoy eating chocolate and chees.
al Most Haunted – Bringing our gullible punters the very best ghost pictures from around the world.
al Most Haunted – spreading the word that ghosts are only exhumans.
Are you involved in paranormal research? Do you investigate ghost sightings? Do you undertake exorcisms on people possessed by demons? Are you a habitual drinker with a camera and an eye for a good ghost story? Why not join alMost Haunted and share your insanity with a gullible internet audience. We are always looking for people to write for the website or send real ghost photos for us to publish. Join today - for you might be a ghost tomorrow!
Have you taken a genuine ghost picture? Is so why not send it to al Most Haunted and we will publish the best ghost pictures on this highly reputable ghost hunters website. Send your ghost pictures to smm2424(at)yahoo.com